White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
