I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
