i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
