there's paper in my vomit.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
