Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
