I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
