there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize