i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
honey bunches of taint.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
