Moan for me like Helen Keller
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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