call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
