Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
is it fun? or sober?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
