i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
