suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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