I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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