a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize