So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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