Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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