if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
