Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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