Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
