can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
