dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
