im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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