I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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