Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
