i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
