I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
