so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
