He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
