just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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