That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
