No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
