A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Mom said you looked used
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
