I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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