i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize