I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
