i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
