Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
