Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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