Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
there is glitter all over my balls
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