I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
