Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize