so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
