we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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