margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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