IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm like, not good at living.
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