Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
