Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need to calm my uterus...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
