So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
