i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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