Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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