I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
