Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
