dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
only you would photoshop your dick
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
