I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
