My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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