It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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