Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The best revenge is premature balding
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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