She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize