Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
